New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You are a genius and a whore.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
