your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
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she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
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No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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