Is it because I queefed?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize