i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
