and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
