i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
