I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize