whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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