I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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