Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
