yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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