I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize