Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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