using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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