afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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