Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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