We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize