how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
