A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Randomize
