wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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