i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
