im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
