I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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