Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
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Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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