we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
