Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize