Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
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she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
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Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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