Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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