I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
