yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
did you just send me my own nude
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
where are my pants?
in the oven.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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