the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
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getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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