I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize