wrigley field is MILF paradise
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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