It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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