Welp...herpes.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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