Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
