Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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