Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
