we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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