Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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