OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
barbara walters just said penis...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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