Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
