So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
