very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
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No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
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Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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