too bad you live with your parents still
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
