i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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