plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
