We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
