You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
