I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
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After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
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I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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