Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You are a genius and a whore.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
