I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
