i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
All I want is dick and wine.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
