im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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