he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize