I could make wine with my vomit
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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