i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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